Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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