Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize