WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
