is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
