is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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