i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Just invented taco cereal.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
