Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
