He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
