wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
