I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Randomize
