I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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