i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize