Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Randomize
