Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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