The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
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