Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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