Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
