I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize