Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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