You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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