did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
