I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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