Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
