bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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