Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
