i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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