Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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