New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
