we have officially lost it.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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