is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize