sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
