i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
