I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I think a kid would responsible me up
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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