this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Randomize
