i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
