I think scott just propositioned me for sex
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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