I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
