i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
