Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize