Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
