you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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