what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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