I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
