I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
