But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
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