Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I queefed so loud it echoed.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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