doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize