This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
