Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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