You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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