Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
