Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
