made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
