why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
