If i come over, it means nothing
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
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