I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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